I was raised in a household where I was encouraged to think deeply about things beyond how they first appeared at the surface level.
This has been one of the most valuable childhood commodities I still possess.
Deeply thinking about something in order to come to your own conclusions is overrated these days.
It is expected that we are spoon-fed the answers to every question that looms over us. This expectation breeds
The inability to come to a conclusion based on our personal thoughts and judgments
Resulting in, instead, coming to a conclusion based on the knowledge and judgment of someone else we deem more educated, trustworthy, and/or a ‘good’ person
This ultimately leads to individuals who are uncomfortable with thinking beyond the surface level, giving rise to a society of people who barely know themselves, others, and the world around them
Part of the purpose behind why I write is because I want to help encourage others to be comfortable with going beyond surface level thinking.
To challenge themselves beyond their typical thought processes.
Through my writing, I want to demonstrate how you can get to the root of your personal understanding through questioning and contemplation in a healthy and productive way.
I am not here to give you all the answers. Those lie within yourself and yourself only. You can start understanding the answers that lie within through directed contemplation.
It’s kind of like guided meditation. I will start with a thought and then ask you questions that dig a little deeper beyond the original thought. Your job is to search within yourself and your understanding to come to a conclusion.
Got your thinking cap on? Great! With that, I ask the foundational question from which the others stem:
How can happiness and hardship co-exist in life?
Concept #1- What Is to Be Considered ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’?
Life is rarely all or nothing.
Never is life perfectly happy with everything going wonderfully well.
Never is life and every aspect of such to be considered a full-on hardship.
If you try to look at your life objectively, from a third-party point of view, you’ll realize that it’s not always rainbows and unicorns…but it’s also not always doom and gloom.
Happiness and hardship can and do co-exist in this life; at least that’s the conclusion I’ve come to;)
There can be moments of joy and contentment in difficult times, and there can be challenges and struggles during happy times.
With this realization comes to mind my first question…if good can be found in the hard times and bad can be found in the good times, what defines a ‘good’ time versus a ‘bad’ time?
If you are having a bad day but choose to focus on the good things that happened, then doesn’t that mean you can choose to see the ‘bad’ day as a ‘good’ one?
If both happiness and hardship co-exist, why is it we tend to focus more on the bad things that happen in the good times rather than the good things that happen in the bad times?
What leads to the hyper-focus of negativity, no matter its size (lots of negativity or little) in society?
What about your personal life? What in your personal life trains your mind to focus on the negative as opposed to the positive?
Is it the people you’re around? The media you consume? The way you spend your time?
Concept #2- Happiness and Hardship are Not Opposites
The reason why happiness and hardship can co-exist is because they are not complete opposites.
Oil and water, chemically, are complete opposites. That is why, no matter the circumstance, they will not mix.
Happiness and hardship, however, do mix. Although perceived as opposites, they’re more like the colors black and brown in fashion. They aren’t considered compliments, but when done right, they can co-exist in a productive (and stylish) way.
If happiness and hardship are not opposites, how can the existence of both be productive in your life?
If the presence of one does not necessarily mean the absence of the other, then how can you find both in most circumstances?
Because happiness and hardship do intermingle, how can you prepare your mind for both? How about your heart?
How does this mindset shift change your present circumstances? How does it change the perception of your past circumstances?
Concept #3- Being Realistic and Avoiding the Extremes
With the acknowledgment that both exist, you now have the choice…
Should your mental energy be spent on focusing on the ‘bad’ or the ‘good’?
Have you even mastered being able to seek out the ‘good’ despite the fact that the cloudiness of the ‘bad’ blocks out the sunshine?
If you have the choice to focus on the ‘good’ or the ‘bad’ of every situation, how do you know how to balance that choice?
Choosing to ignore the ‘bad’ that is happening in your life can be dangerous. Choosing to disregard the ‘good’ things happening in your life is irresponsible. Both can lead to a false sense of reality.
If you choose to see the good in every situation, is that necessarily the right thing to do? If so, how do you still acknowledge the bad times and allow yourself to process the mental and emotional sides of those experiences?
Real Talk
I first started to contemplate the relationship between happiness and hardship upon experiencing hardship of my own.
I consider myself to be an optimist. I always perceive things as happening for my benefit, whether they are objectively ‘good’ or ‘bad.’
I knew, however, that I needed to remain realistic and allow myself to acknowledge the hardships I was experiencing.
I recognized the cruciality of this in the process of healing emotionally and mentally.
Although an optimist, I’ve had my fair share of doubts and bouts of sadness.
Through the practice of contemplation and introspection, I came to the personal conclusion that…
You can’t wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy. You must learn to seek happiness in the hardship. Both must and do co-exist in life.
What about you? What do you think of the relationship between hardship and happiness?
This, my friends, these questions…they’re only just the beginning, and merely do they cut through the surface of such a complex concept.