You have two choices in life:
Focus your time and effort on dismantling the past
Focus your time and effort on building the future
Your Present Self is suffering because you’re focusing too much on your Past Self.
Trying to understand why your girlfriend in high school cheated on you with your best friend. Trying to decode why you’re so anxious in social settings. Trying to dismantle the thought processes you were raised with.
If it’s selfish to focus on your Past Self then it’s selfless to focus on your Future Self.
You fall short when you focus on your Past Self but exceed expectations when you focus on your Future Self.
Here’s how I came to realize that.
The Mindset Shift That Changed My Life
I remember this vividly, so let me paint a picture for you.
It’s 9 o’clock at night, and I’m sitting in a round, teal lounge chair in my childhood bedroom with a math textbook to my right and a lined notebook on my lap.
The only light on in my room is a lamp shining upon my textbook like I was prepping for an interrogation instead of an Algebra test.
After completing the required problems for homework (which, by the way, took me 2 hours), I stared down at the suggested problems that could be solved for additional practice.
The only thing worse to me than solving math equations was solving extra math equations.
I stared off into space and started to daydream about Future Jade.
What did she look like? How did she act? What was important to her? What college did she go to? What did she major in?
All these questions and more ran through my head, but the loudest question left me wondering…
…Would Future Jade want me to do these additional math problems?
This was the first day I conceptualized Future Jade.
The moment I began to conceptualize Future Jade was the moment I began to push myself beyond my limits. Not for Present Jade. Oh no, Present, Jade did not want to do more math problems.
But Future Jade would benefit from it, right?
I decided that yes indeed, Future Jade, (the one taking the math test) would definitely benefit from Present Jade practicing more math problems.
So it was settled.
I would now do everything in life with Future Jade in mind.
Here’s Why It’s So Important
Constantly trying to understand your Past Self chains your Present Self to the hardships and sufferings that have long expired.
Learning how to conceptualize your Future Self and understand how the actions of your Present Self impact your Future Self sets you free.
Now, every habit you maintain today has a purpose; the purpose to help your Future Self succeed.
When you push your Present Self beyond limits, your Future Self’s threshold rises.
When you live today by focusing on your Future Self rather than your Past Self you make tangible progress forward instead of being stuck in the past.
Real Talk
I still think about Past Jade. I mean, she is why I am the way I am today…
But I no longer dwell on Past Jade (or her actions, or what she went through, or what she said). Past Jade is long gone.
You can’t go back in time. You can’t step foot into the future.
But your Present Self will always think you can.
So it’s your choice.
Fool yourself into thinking you can take back what you said? Deceive yourself into thinking, “If only I did this, maybe things would be different.”? Mislead yourself by thinking that stressing over your past does anything to change it.
Or you can prepare yourself now for what is to come.
Help out your Future Self by acting with them mind. By speaking with them in mind. By building habits with them in mind.
I don’t work out every day because Present Jade wants to. I do because Future Jade will be healthy.
I don’t go to therapy to help Present Jade. I do it to shape Future Jade.
I don’t take writing courses so Present Jade can benefit. I do it so Future Jade can be a better writer.
Craft your present with an eye on the future, not with a gaze on the past.