They say the hardest person you will ever have to lead is yourself. And boy, are they right.
Why does it feel so much easier to lead others well as opposed to leading yourself well? Perhaps because it feels like the stakes are higher. If you fail, those who rely on you know and it’s something you have to take responsibility for.
But if you fail yourself, often the only person who knows is you. Rarely do we share with others our deepest hopes and dreams for fear of having to owe an explanation for when we do not accomplish (or try to accomplish) those hopes and dreams.
It’s important to learn how to be good at leading others. BUT learning to lead yourself well is crucial to your personal success. Plus, if you learn how to lead yourself well, you will naturally be able to lead others even better!
At the end of the day, the only person you will spend your whole life with is YOU. Learn to lead yourself and watch your dreams become reality.
5 Ways to Lead Yourself Well
#1 Be Protective of Your Time
Perhaps one of the biggest ways you can lead yourself well is by being protective of your time. Being strict with how and with whom you spend your time can make or break your ability to lead yourself well.
If you willingly let yourself mindlessly scroll on TikTok for two hours every night before bed or if you hang out with friends who aren’t pushing you to be your best, then you aren’t being protective of your time.
They say time is money. But I say time is much more important than that. Time is a resource we are too comfortable taking for granted. And it’s often very clear between the people who use their time well and the people who don’t.
How are you supposed to lead yourself well and direct the course of your life if you don’t take your time seriously?
Part of being protective of your time is knowing your limits. We are finite creatures and can only do so much. And that’s okay.
Knowing when to take the time to take a break and practice self-care is equally as important. It sets you up for success in how you spend your time when you’re able to jump back into the grind.
#2 Eliminate Unnecessary Decisions
Eliminating unnecessary decisions goes hand-in-hand with being protective of your time. But it also makes room for you to be able to contemplate and make the decisions that actually matter.
Clearing your mind of clutter is important in being able to lead yourself well. Understanding exactly what needs to be done to achieve your dreams and goals and how to do it takes a lot of effort and energy. Clearing the clutter makes room for you to expend energy on the things that actually matter.
A few common daily decisions you can eliminate are;
What you wear. Pull a Steve Jobs and wear the same rockin’ fit every day.
What you eat. Eliminate time in your day by eating the same breakfast and lunch. Allow room for diversity in what you eat for dinner. But even then, have a few staples for when dinner time rolls around.
When you ‘adult’. There are endless tasks that need to be done on a day-to-day and week-to-week basis to simply live life. Reviewing finances, going to get an oil change, shopping at grocery store. Reserve a specified time within your day to knock these tasks out so you no longer have to think about them and they actually get done.
There are many aspects of your life that you can systemize or automate to ensure that you are eliminating the amount of clutter that is up in your brain. How are you able to make critical decisions about your dreams when all you can think about is the fact that your library books are due tomorrow?
Eliminating unnecessary decisions also helps to reduce your overall stress, allowing you to lead a healthy and joyful life.
#3 Take Action with Your Future Self in Mind
Other than being protective of my time, the biggest way I lead myself is by taking action with my future self in mind.
There are often tasks that I complete wherein I finish by thinking to myself, “You’re welcome, future Jade.” Doing everything in your power today to set yourself up for success tomorrow is a tangible way to lead yourself well.
How can you plan your time well today so you can use your time even better tomorrow? What relationships can you foster today that can benefit you tomorrow?
It’s important not only to do things with your future self in mind but also to act in such a way that you understand your future self will have to bear the consequences, good or bad. Don’t say, think, or act in a way that sets your future self up for failure.
It’s no fun dealing with the consequences of misguided behavior. But if you act knowing that your future self reaps the consequences, you will be more willing to act in ways that are beneficial to your future self as opposed to ways that are harmful to your future self.
#4 Build Honesty and Trust with Yourself
You wouldn’t follow a leader you didn’t trust, would you? You wouldn't want to be led by someone who doesn’t prioritize cultivating honesty among you and your team, would you?
The same goes for being a leader for yourself. You have to be honest with what you can and cannot accomplish. You have to trust that whatever you pursue, you pursue with your whole heart invested, putting all your resources towards accomplishing your goals.
In the same way, you build honesty and trust between yourself and your significant other over a period of time, it will take time to learn how to be 100% honest with yourself, and to learn how to trust yourself and your intuitions completely.
Not only is it going to take effort and time to trust yourself completely, but it’s going to take vulnerability to build honesty between you and yourself.
It’s not great to admit that you’re headed down a path of destruction. But you have to be honest with yourself and come face to face with the truth. It’s not fun to acknowledge that you are letting yourself down by watching Netflix for several hours after work instead of pursuing that big idea you have. But you have to be strong enough to admit you could be doing something better with your time.
The longer you deceive yourself, the harder it is to live the life you are destined to live. The longer you deceive yourself, the harder it is to pursue your life’s purpose.
Lack of honesty with yourself and trust in your abilities is the real enemy of leading yourself well.
Practicing honesty with yourself, however, leads to freedom. It leads to personal growth and your ability to be your greatest advocate, your best friend, and the best business person you could partner with.
#5 Have Fun!
Most leaders know that there is a balance of work and fun that promotes high productivity and increased efficiency within a team. The same is true on an individual level.
If all you do is work, work, work without giving yourself space to have fun, you may be negatively impacting your overall ability to produce high-quality, purposeful work.
It’s easy to get stuck in the trenches of the self-discipline and commitment required to make dreams come true. In the darkest nights of the hour, it’s easy to forget why you started pursuing a dream in the first place.
If you allow room for silliness, fun, and a bit of goofiness in the process, you're able to shift your perspective. Innocent acts of daydreaming and unfiltered creativity can spark inspiration in the mundanity of life.
Real Talk
It’s hard to lead yourself well, especially when no one is looking.
At the end of the day, you spend the most time with yourself. Only you are going to know the inner workings of your conscious thoughts, daily habits, and deepest fears.
Leading yourself well can result in habits and priorities that are counter-cultural. It’s hard to stick with your beliefs of how to lead yourself, and your life.
But leading yourself well opens up opportunities for yourself you could have never imagined. It sets you apart from the crowd, elevates your skills, and allows you to share those with others.
If you don’t care to lead yourself well, you are only letting yourself down. Don’t let your life pass you by. Don’t let opportunities present themselves, only to lack the self-leadership needed to accomplish them.
Leading yourself is the hardest yet most rewarding thing you can do. So start leading.