I’ll be the first to admit– I’m a highly judgemental person. Both of myself and others. 

If you know anything about the Myers-Briggs Personality test, then you’ll know that the ‘J’ in my personality type (ENFJ) literally means ‘Judging.’ 

It’s something I’ve spent years trying to get better at, as I don’t like how my natural tendencies toward judgment negatively impact the way I view myself and others. 

It’s normal to judge others, and can be handy when trying to judge the character of others and certain situations. 

But judgment is maximized when it’s minimized.

Here are five things I do that have improved my judgment mind. 

#1 Give People the Benefit of the Doubt

If you want to be less judgemental, your standard operating mode should be giving people the benefit of the doubt.

If you hear from your friend that so-and-so did this-and-that, give so-and-so the benefit of the doubt instead of instantly dishing them a heaping plate of judgment. 

The benefit of the doubt is an easy way to fight against the natural tendency to judge.

Even if in your head you’re judging someone, verbally give them the benefit of the doubt.

Often, the path to changing what’s inside your head is changing what you verbally speak. 

#2 Intentionally Stop Yourself in the Middle of a Judgmental Statement

Beyond being aware of your thoughts toward someone, you can intentionally stop yourself in the middle of a judgemental thought as it crosses your mind. 

If you feel a judgemental thought toward yourself or others formulating in your mind, stop it in its tracks. Just because a thought starts to formulate doesn’t mean it needs to be completed. 

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the judgemental thought cross your mind? It didn’t, because you stopped it just in time. 

#3- Give More ‘Undeserved’ Grace 

Be more generous with the ‘undeserved’ grace you give others. 

In Christianity, giving someone else grace means unconditionally forgiving them. Mainstream grace includes giving someone undeserved love and kindness even if you think they deserve otherwise. 

Practicing this frequently and without reserve is the foundation of how you perceive yourself and others. 

If you want to be a judgmental person, then always give others what you think they deserve. If you truly want to be a non-judgemental person, then smile at the person who cuts you off in traffic. 

#4- Speak Positivity and Kindness Over Others

Something I do is spend my commute to work speaking positivity and kindness over others. 

I’ve found that this really changes my perception of others and allows me to view them more gently. The more harshly I view others and myself, the more likely I am to judge. 

With each affirmation I speak over someone, the rock of judgment gets chipped away, bit by bit. 

#5- Be Easy to Forget

Learn to forget other people’s transgressions. 

Learn to forget your own transgressions.

Holding on to other people’s transgressions leaves you in an uneasy state. 

One way to free yourself from your judgemental mind is to be easy to forget. 

There are many things that are worth storing in your memory bank- your first kiss with your girlfriend. A fond memory from your favorite family vacation. That feeling of being offered your dream job. 

Choose to leave room in your mind for those things, ridding yourself of transgressions. After all, you only got so much space up in that noggin’. Make sure it’s full of positivity and goodness. 

Real Talk

It’s really hard overcoming being judgemental towards others. It’s especially hard overcoming being judgemental toward yourself. 

All of these things, though they seem simple, completely reframe your perspective of yourself and others. This paradigm shift is essential in overcoming the judgemental mind. 

You weren’t made to judge people. You were made to love people. So, do everything it takes to love rather than judge.