Every relationship has an expiration date. 

Even if it’s a lifelong relationship, sooner or later, death puts an expiration date on everything. 

But how do you know the expiration date of a relationship if it’s not clearly labeled? Do you wait for it to go rotten, sitting in your fridge just a little too long?

You probably have a relationship that puts a smile on your face just thinking about how they’re your ride or die. 

Relationships like this– relationships that last a lifetime– are as rare as a good box-office theatre movie in 2023. That’s why, more often than not, a majority of our relationships fall into a different category. 

Managing the relationships that come and go in your life requires thoughtful insight and wisdom. 

Recognizing the ‘Use Life’ of a relationship helps to ensure that each relationship is properly cared for and maintained in a healthy way. 

Plants and Relationships

Imagine you just got your first apartment. You’re stoked about getting to decorate and set it up exactly how you envision it. The first thing you pick out is a few plants to bring peace and life to your space. 

As you start to care for them, you begin to realize just how hard it is to maintain the plants, making sure they are as healthy and strong as they can be. 

Some of your plants require a lot of light, while others need shade. The cute succulents don’t need a ton of water, but the other plants require just the right amount at just the right time. 

You’re hit with the reality check that plants are a lot to properly care for. Not to mention, traveling for work has added another layer of complexity to your plant care regimen. 

Just like plants, relationships require a lot of thoughtful care.

You have to have the time, space, and energy to keep them alive. 

And just like plants, relationships require water for life. The water of relationships is love, quality time, trust, patience, kindness, and humility. 

You have to be willing to properly water all your relationships because, without careful maintenance, they will die.

The Useful Life of a Relationship

In today’s world, you’re infinitely connected to hundreds of people by small, weak ties. 

You know what I mean…that one person on Instagram from high school you barely remember the name of, but you followed anyway because you saw they got engaged.

Then there are some relationships that heavily rely on ties from the past in order to exist. Without those ties, there would be no present relationship.

My childhood best friend is one example. We grew up and did everything together. We were even born three days apart, and our dads are best friends. 

But as life progressed, we took different paths and now only text each other ‘Happy Birthday’ each year. 

But we are still deeply tied to each other because of our past. And sometimes we’ll get together…but only for that reason… only because we were once best friends. Once deeply involved in each other's lives. Once going to be each other's Maid of Honor. 

I’ve had to learn the hard way that it’s okay to move on from relationships that continue to exist only for the sake of an emotional bond in the past.

You don’t have to maintain relationships that were only meant to serve you for a season in your life. 

It’s okay to not check in on that one friend from your first job who you always took lunch breaks with. It’s okay not to water dead plants. 

You Can’t Be Everything to Everyone

Letting go of relationships is hard, especially if there’s a lot of history and love, making the bond strong. 

However, the more you invest in expired relationships, the less you can invest in the relationships that are currently present in your life.  

Trying to maintain 100 expired relationships is like trying to revive 100 dead plants. It’s just not worth it.

It takes true wisdom to know that the purpose of a relationship exists within a certain timeframe and that beyond that timeframe, it’s okay to let that relationship go.

Of course, it’s good to check in on an old friend to make sure they’re doing well because you genuinely still care. Or to maintain a connection you have because they may be able to help with a networking opportunity in the future. 

But you have to pick and choose which relationships you do this with. 

You can’t be everything to everyone.

Each relationship serves a purpose, whether it’s to bring love, joy, growth, or even heartache. 

But relationships are bound to time. Recognizing when it’s time to say goodbye can ensure that the impact of a relationship isn’t diluted because of the unnecessary extension of time. 

Real Talk

Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes. 

True wisdom in relationships is learning to say goodbye. 

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, and you'll know exactly what to do when you figure out which one it is.

Relationships aren’t meant to outlive the time in which they existed. Only memories are meant to surpass time, to which relationships are bound. 

Wisdom is knowing when a relationship has properly served its purpose and the expiration date is near. 

Letting go is part of the cyclical nature of relationships. It doesn’t have to be viewed as a negative thing but rather can be seen as an opportunity for growth.

Moving on isn’t the end rather, it’s the start of new oppeortutites.

Opportunities to invest in the relationships that are serving you now.