Why does it feel more important to keep promises made to others than it is to keep self-made promises?

Perhaps it’s because there’s more weight in promises made to others than to ourselves.

Maybe it’s because the price of breaking a promise to someone else is greater than the price of breaking a promise to yourself.

After all, if you break a promise to yourself, who’s gonna know?

Society says it’s okay to break self-made promises and that the consequences are minimal. But I beg to differ.

Self-made promises hold a lot of weight and the cost of them going unfulfilled is vast.

The benefits of keeping self-made promises are multi-faceted.

It’s a way to prove to yourself that you can do anything you set your mind to.

It’s a way to prove to yourself that you are capable of overcoming challenges.

It’s a way to prove to yourself that personal promises are worth keeping.

A self-made promise is the greatest test of personal growth.

So, how do you overcome the internal and external factors that greatly determine the viability of your personal promises?

Here’s what not to do, if you want to keep breaking promises to yourself…

#1 Write Down Your Promises

How many things are going on up in that noggin’ of yours? I’d bet it’s a whole lot!

Writing your promises down is the first step in making your thoughts a reality.

When something is written down it takes on more of a physical embodiment than simply being a thought.

Writing down the promises you want to keep for yourself also ensures you don’t forget them.

Thoughts come and go. They’re easy to let go of, easy to forget.

Things aren’t written on a Post-It note to be forgotten they’re written to be accomplished.

#2 Make Your Promises Specific

The promises you make to yourself should be specific.

When something is specific, it feels within reach, thus making it easier to accomplish.

The more specific your self-made promises are, the clearer the idea you can have of how to fulfill them.

Your GPS doesn’t say “Turn left here,” it says “In 1000 feet turn left onto Jefferson Avenue”.

The more detailed the directions are, the easier (and faster) you get to your final destination.

#3 Set deadlines

Learn to like deadlines- they’re an important piece in your journey to success.

Deadlines light a fire under your butt when motivation no longer keeps the flame alive.

There’s one caveat, though…

Your deadlines should be reasonable.

A rushed or lazy timeline is about as helpful as a USB charger when you have an iPhone.

It may be years down the line, but that’s still a deadline.

A deadline doesn’t have to be soon. It just has to be realistic.

#4 Break Your Promises Down

Your promises should be bite-sized and easily summed up in one or two sentences.

Anything more than that can be just plain overwhelming.

If a self-made promise seems too overwhelming, it becomes an additional barrier to your success in achieving the self-made promise.

Keep them simple. Keep them attainable.

We want appetizers here, no all-you-can-eat buffets.

#5 Get an Accountability Partner

It’s easier to give up on promises when you’re the only one who knows they exist.

Having someone to hold you accountable adds a layer of reason to keep pushing forward, especially when you’d rather just quit.

An accountability partner can encourage you, challenge you, and serve as a reminder when you’ve lost sight of your ‘why.’

It’s easier to give up on a promise in the dark.

So, shine a light on your self-made promises by telling them to someone else.

#6 Reward Yourself

Rewarding yourself throughout the journey helps to maintain morale and keeps you pushing forward.

It’s important to know when and how to reward yourself, though.

Rewarding yourself for every single little step you take often does more harm than good. It signals to your brain that you’re in it for the satisfaction of the reward, not the accomplishment of keeping a promise to yourself.

Try instead, to reward yourself when you keep your promise in the hardest of moments. Or when you achieve a huge milestone in keeping said promise.

#7 Visualize Your Success

Part of successfully fulfilling a self-made promise is visualizing what it will look like once you have achieved your goal.

In the same way, writing your self-made promise down does, visualizing your success makes your self-made promise one step closer to reality.

Visualizing your success is a weird way of emotionally bonding yourself to that hypothetical experience so you will be more motivated to do anything to achieve it.

#8 Practice Positive Self-talk

As with anything in life, keeping a self-made promise is largely an internal battle.

Make sure you are equipped with the proper battle armor by adorning your mind with positive self-talk.

You have to be your biggest advocate, your biggest cheerleader.

Staying positive towards your goal and yourself makes the difference between the success or the failure of your self-made promise.

#9 Be Flexible

Have flexibility in what your self-made promise is and when you accomplish it.

Life will throw wild things at you, especially when you least expect it. Don’t let the craziness of life completely prohibit you from achieving your self-made promises.

Be flexible and willing to adapt your promises if necessary.

Many know how to make a promise to themselves. Few know how to adapt those promises as life progresses.

#10 Track Your Progress

Do yourself a favor and track your progress over time.

If your self-made promise occurs over the length of several years, it’s hard to remember where you came from versus where you are now.

Keeping a log of your progress helps you keep the big picture in mind.

When you’re stuck in the weeds of the everyday tasks it takes to fulfill your self-made promises, and you need a reminder of just how far you’ve come, keeping track of your progress can be a light at the end of a tunnel.

How rewarding is it to look back and see what once was a Medium blogger is now a published Author?

Real Talk

Keeping a self-made promise is so much more than just the result of fulfilling your promise.

Learning to keep self-made promises is one of the greatest ways you can build trust with yourself.

It tells you that you are capable of putting your mind towards something and achieving it.

It’s a way to challenge yourself and your ability to grow.

Keeping self-made promises and the journey to fulfillment sets you up to have greater confidence.

It sets the foundation for you to be able to achieve more challenging and higher goals.

Making a self-made promise is like looking for gold. Fulfilling a self-made promise is actually finding it.