Have you ever been entranced by the glow of your phone screen while your thumb rhythmically numbs your thoughts? When all of a sudden, something pulls you back to reality, where time exists, and your life awaits?

When you’re pulled back to reality, what are the first thoughts that cross your mind? Are you ashamed of the time that has passed since you first started the scroll?

Are you frustrated because you chose the mini serotonin hits over writing that essay that’s due tomorrow?

Or are you happy and feel good about the time spent scrolling, feeling pleased with everything you consumed?

Assuming that most people don’t have the conscious thought that the endless scroll does anything to improve their lives, let’s suppose you are left feeling the former.

Have you ever asked yourself why, despite the fact that it often makes you feel worse about yourself, your life, and others, you choose to engage in the endless scroll that leaves you feeling empty, worthless, and jealous?

No, really…sit there and think for yourself why you (and society) spend vast amounts of time scrolling on social media when there is little to no value gained.

Part of the human condition is the need and desire to seek out things to fill the void we consciously recognize exists and subconsciously feed.

But do you know what those voids are and why you turn to social media to try to fill them?

The Voids We Try to Fill

Take a look at your life and try to understand the ways in which you feel empty. What voids exist uniquely in your life, and how do you try to fill them?

It may not be clear at first in what ways you feel empty, but it’s important to try to take stock of this.

If you’re never aware of the ways in which you experience emptiness in life, you may try to seek fulfillment from things that were never meant to be filling, which only creates a cycle of constant eating without ever feeling satisfied.

It’s difficult to make mindful sense of the things that have left us hollow in life. Oftentimes we have become so used to the feeling of emptiness that it no longer feels empty- it just exists. We’ve become so used to it that we don’t know it’s there, but we still subconsciously try to fill it.

I grew up without being allowed to have social media, having graduated high school without ever having Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, or the like. Upon entering college, I made an Instagram account and promptly permanently deleted it a year and a half later. To this day, I only have LinkedIn and am considering downloading Twitter for the first time for the purposes of writing.

I came to realize that the scroll of social media was doing nothing but making my life worse. I experienced extreme jealousy of others’ lives, which seemed better than what I knew mine to be. The jealousy bred hate towards those people…for no reason at all.

I used social media to escape the thoughts I was having. It was a way to ignore the tough questions my subconscious was asking. It was a way to quiet the overthinking that was the constant soundtrack to my life.

I tried to use social media to fill the voids in my life, but all it was really doing was numbing my conscious mind from having to confront them.

Still, today, I will admit that I always have Netflix or a YouTube video playing in the background when I do household chores, so I don’t have to be in such deep contemplation while I clean the dishes or do my laundry.

A lot of what we do, from the entertainment we choose and when we choose to consume it, is an attempt to fill some sort of void we have in life.

Why Do We Try To Fill These Voids?

It’s in our nature as humans to want to make things complete and whole. We try to complete our day with a nighttime ritual. We try to make ourselves whole by seeking out the company of another. We try to complete our lives by achieving certain milestones.

Think about it, if there was a puzzle sitting on your coffee table, that was nearly complete but one singular piece, would you be able to let it sit there, incomplete? How big is the temptation to place the last puzzle piece, completing the picture in its entirety?

In the same way, we strive to make the voids we have whole by filling them with things.

You fill the void of a successful life by scrolling through Instagram. You fill the void of a romantic relationship by swiping on Tinder. You fill the void of not having a father by watching hours of TikTok.

The need to fill these voids and make complete the incomplete stems from the fear of confrontation.

No one wants to confront the failures they’ve experienced in life. It’s terrifying coming face to face with the things you’ve fallen short of or the things that have left you feeling broken and empty.

Why Social Media and Entertainment Will Never Fill Them

Social media and entertainment certainly provide some value to our lives. The problem lies, however, in the fact that we try to use social media to fill voids of emotional pain, insecurity, and hardship, and that will simply never work.

The only way to fill the voids we experience is by first acknowledging that they exist. And the reality is, you can’t do that when your thoughts are being numbed by the lyrics of Meghan Trainor’s “Mother” song on TikTok.

Once you’ve come face to face with your voids, you have to have a neutral perspective in determining what will fill those voids. Often, what made us once empty is the only thing that will truly make us full.

Social media and the ever-evolving trends we consume will never truly fill our voids because, at the end of the day, social media didn’t create that void in the first place.

When potholes in the road are being repaired, they aren’t filled with water. Water doesn’t serve the purpose it needs to, as it would likely splash right back out as each car drove over the cavity. Dirt isn’t used to fill potholes, either. Even though the dirt could be compacted into the hole and would be a better substitute than water, it’s likely the dirt would wash away with the next rainstorm.

The only thing that can be used to properly fill a pothole and fix the problem is what was once there- asphalt or concrete.

In the same way, filing the voids we have with social media and entertainment may only serve as a temporary solution to the deep-seated voids we experience.

Real Talk

It’s incredibly challenging coming face to face with the voids you have. It often means confronting pain and digging up trauma.

But filling these voids with useless things like social media, entertainment, even materialistic possessions, partying, and the like only leads to more hurt. A deeper hurt, a bigger void.

Don’t let social media get in the way of you healing your wounds and filling your voids. It’s one step on the path to becoming the best version of yourself. 

Don’t let social media rob you of being the best version of yourself.